Kiki & Kids

I officially live AT THE BEACH!  My lease was up at my townhouse, I moved in with my mom until I could find a place down here, I've been here for 2 weeks and I can finally post this GREAT NEWS!  I am going to be taking pictures like crazy to post and share my happiness.  The kids are all thrilled and thankful I pushed them to move.  I have not been at peace like this in SO long - well, I still have to find a job :( 

 

I'll update more later.  I've missed you guys!

 

Kiki

It has been so long, I don't even know how to start this blog.  SOOO many things have happened and there's no way I'd be able to list everything without being approached to write my memoirs.  Let's just say that....the move further south is back on.  My lease is up at the end of June and I'll be moving and I can't wait.  I have so little time to get ready to move (plus I'm a terrible procrastinator), yet it can't get here quick enough.  I've been trying to get in touch with my ex-boss so he might could pull some strings on getting me a job.  I'm also wanting to talk to him about how to get around the whole Relocation Act that I would have to abide by.  I have to give the ex 45 days notice of my moving and he can object and the judge will have to decide if I can move or not.  Crap, huh? 

 

The ex rejected my settlement demand (every dollar plus interest, attorneys fees and court costs).  He said he wasn't going to pay interest, attys fees, court costs or help with school costs (registration, supplies, etc.) because "that should be taken care of in the child support".  I don't know about y'all, but last year it cost me approximately $700 to get my kids ready for school in the fall.  My response was "if he doesn't want to be involved in their school costs, then he shouldn't be allowed to be involved in the fun parts of school."  But, the few events he does make it to delights my babes so I would never say he couldn't come.  But, with me moving south, he will have limited access, for which I'll be thankful. 

 

Enough ex talk.  I have been slipping in and out of a depression for a few years now.  I have been seeing a therapist since October 07 and taking meds, but I can only tell they help a little.  My therapist tells me things I already know.  I don't know what I hoped to gain from him, but it's nice just to have someone completely impartial and confidential to throw things out to. 

 

Ri didn't try out for cheerleader this year.  I filled out her papers and everything and she didn't turn them in - on purpose.  She said she didn't want me to have to pay for it all by myself.  She said she'd rather have a house.  It just broke my heart.  I never had that kind of pressure on me when I was young.  I wish my babes could be carefree like I was.  That's one reason I'm wanting to move so badly.  I want to get away from the stress that my family creates.  I'm Ms. Fix It to everyone in my family.  They all call me.  I take on everyone's problems as if they were my own, which is crazy because I'm such a mess.  It's bad when I can be the voice of reason.  But, it's always easier to see other peoples' situations more clearly than you do your own, I guess. 

 

Mem is wonderful.  My wonderful, patient, sweet, loving Mem.  God made her special.  I think he knew I couldn't take any more negative.  She is sweet to everyone, goes to bed easily, washes her own hair, washes her hands EVERY TIME she potties, keeps her side of the room clean as a pin, already knows how to make me coffee =], has flown through kindergarten doing the best in her class, is an Ambassador for the school due to her sweet nature and strict adherence to rules (she gets the ocd from me, I think we all know that), loves me beyond comprehension and never utters a complaint.  She is just an angel.  I am so blessed.

 

With all THAT being said, please pray for little Con.  He's having a rough time.  His dad is trying to pull him that way and it rips him apart.  He has started telling little lies, not turning in homework even after I help him with it and ensure that it's done and I've had the principal call twice because he took something that wasn't his.  That has his dad written all over it.  They learn by example.  He's such a good boy with a heart of gold, but I think he's used to hearing his dad excuse all behavior and he's confused.

 

We've been dealing with so much over the past few months.  My little brother took 23 pills.  I have never been so scared.  He is still badly bullied at school and he's been going through personal issues for a while now and I guess he just got tired.  The day after he did it, I checked my voicemail (I HATE to check voicemail) and he had called and left me a message before he took the pills, pleading with me to come get him and help him.  I am so mad at myself that I didn't get the phone.  I heard the phone ring, but didn't answer it.  When I saw he had called, I called him, but it was too late.  When I got to the hospital, all I could do is do what I always do to him when he's sad or upset.  I grab him by that beautiful red hair and put my forehead to his and ask "who loves you most?"  and he always says "you do Kiki".  But, he couldn't respond.  The meds wore off and he woke up and, thank God, he didn't have any lasting effects.  He was so lucky.  I had the most heartfelt talk I've ever had with him that night. 

 

He and my little sister are like my own kids.  18 and 21 years between us.  My brother rode home from the hospital with me on the day he was born.  I fed him first.  I got him to sleep so many times.  He's doing better, but my parents are trying to figure out where to move, etc., so that he will be happy too.  We all need a new situation to refresh us.  We've had so many knocks.  I'm ready for some downhill.  I've prayed about this move for years now and I'm not sure if I am just not hearing God's direction or if he is being subtle or if he is waiting for me to make the decision.  But, I'm about to do it.  Please pray for me.  Pray that everything I need falls into place.

 

Maybe I should write my story.  No one would believe everything though.  I would get accused like that Frey guy of it being fiction.  My friends often tell me that my life is worse than a soap opera - I just needed a Stefano Demera.  I just yell "No!  Don't jinx me!" 

Hello!  Again, I slipped away...sorry!  I've had so much going on, as usual.  I am full steam ahead planning my move further southward and doing my best to get everything in line and ready.  Ri is fighting it every inch of the way, which is very distressing.  But, I completely understand her reasons.  On paper: she is a cheerleader, she's popular in a huge school and has good grades.  In reality: she struggles to keep up with the moods of her friends.  They constantly mistreat her and hurt her feelings and, like her mother, she comforts herself with food.  At least once a week she is distraught and hurt.  We are constantly trying to keep up with all the things we have going on - my jobs, sports, school projects, etc., and I'm exhausted!    I want to move to that little country town on the gulf and slow down and enjoy my kids before they grow up.  I've been looking into new jobs that would require less time away from the babes, more money and more fun.  I'm determined!  With Ri's personality, she an go anywhere and succeed.  She just lacks the confidence at the moment (thanks to her crappy friends) to make the move herself. 

 

My boss has quit smoking and is trying to eat better and lose some weight per his NY's resolution.  You would think that was a good thing, but it is a VERY bad thing.    He is so ill all the time.  He makes me cry at least once a week.  I just want to buy him a carton of cigs and a honey bun and tell him to smile. 

 

Other than that....things are great.  No, the englishman didn't work out.  He was extremely clingy, needy and high maintenance.  I don't have the time nor the patience for high maintenance.  So, I've quit dating yet again.  I spent this entire last weekend cleaning my house, balancing my checkbook and buying school project supplies ahead of time.  How great that is.  I felt so productive.

 

Oh yeah!  I forgot!  We actually got snow about 10 days ago!  It was only 2 inches, but it was great.  It was the first time Mem got to see snow.  We made snow angels in the wet, slushy snow.  The kids had to change clothes about every 10 minutes and the snow was melted away by the end of the day.  Today is going to be 68.....the joys of living in the South.

 

I am playing hookie from work today.  I'm going to go buy groceries, exercise (I've lost 10lbs!), give myself a pedicure and watch movies.

 

Have a great week!

 

Kiki

2008.  Wow.  Time is just flying by.  I remember when I was a kid, I thought the year 2000 seemed forever away and now 2008 is upon us. 

2007 was filled with turmoil, heartbreak, loss and lots of love.  They say you can't appreciate the good without having a little bad sprinkled in. 

I think it's true.  When my Paw Paw died, it made me appreciate the life he led and the family he started. 

When the kids and I were hit with hard times, it made me hug them just a little tighter and kiss them a little more

(like I could kiss them anymore than I already do!). 

I have been brought closer to my friends and God still watches over my little family like we're all He's got. 

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2008 full of God's love and blessings.

 

Kiki

I had such a productive, peaceful Monday.  Now I am sitting in a quiet house, at my computer with Mazzy Star playing,

good cup of coffee beside me and getting to blog! 

 

My Paw Paw died on November 25.  What a wonderful, wonderful man who lived his life exhibiting a love only God could provide. What an example. He was 83 years old and nobody could stay sad at his funeral. It was amazing. Everyone had the same feeling - he reached his goal.  He lived a long, good life, was married to my Nanny for 63 years, had a good family that loved him, he lived for Christ, loved everyone, helped anyone and went to Heaven.

 

 

I had another date with my Englishman this past weekend.  It was great.  I love to sit on his back deck.  He lives right on a creek and you can hear the waterfall deep behind his house.  He has a goldfish pond that is beautiful.  You are completely surrounded by woods and it is so peaceful.  We sat back there for hours having wine and just talking.  It was wonderful.

 

The kids are great.  Con is doing so much better than he was.  Today was his first session with the school counselor.  It was kind of a one-on-one divorce therapy session.  I love his counselor.  She really, really cares.  I think it bothers her as much as it does me to see him so ripped apart.  Hopefully, this will help.

 

The kids and I put up the Christmas tree and all of the decorations last night.  We were up until almost 11, but it is beautiful. 

I think this may be the first year I didn't have a Christmas light fiasco, which was great.  I just love this time of year. 

 

I have to go pick up Con & Mem and go to Ri's game.  Have a great week!

 

Kiki